Eight letters. Loose from any limitation or condition; uncontrolled; unrestricted; unconditional. Complete in itself; perfect; consummate; faultless. Viewed apart from modifying influences or without comparison with other objects; actual; real. Absolute. Goodness. We hope we can live up to all that our new name might be seen to imply.
As we anticipated, nay invited, our text and email in-boxes are replete with comments on what we’re up to. We are reading and considering them. I know that sounds like some blasé pledge from a chap in a cheap suit in a customer care department of some company – which likely means he’s merrily ignoring customer comments. (My theory being that that any company with a customer relations department clearly feels that the role of the rest of the company is to ignore customers.) But, genuinely here, we are reading through everything we can, as it helps us to understand where the potholes are in the road as we make the transition from Arthur to Martha. The great thing about being a radio station is that response is immediate – and heartfelt. I can’t help thinking that the email boxes of other world-wide brands undergoing name-change would not have been as full of comment as ours are. People clearly care.
One other interesting area is the spelling of our new name. I know predictive texting sometimes sends all sorts of inappropriate words to bosses or lovers, but my Nokia predictive text certainly manages to handle Absolute. We are using the word as a key word to enter our latest round of our text competition: ‘The Bid’ (Now ‘The Absolute Bid’). One great, and frankly deliberate, side-effect of this is that it helps us to understand the many permutations that our most inventive listeners might consider when spelling the word. I gather from our newsroom today that those starting school this year will now have to remain there until they are thirty three, but I do not think that decision was fulled by the 0.15% of our texters who are spelling the word wrongly. Frankly, it’s quite good fun reading them.
Absoulte (finger trouble?)
apsolute ( quite a few of these)
Appsurlute (we liked that one)
Absulute (a few of these, maybe it’s Christian’s pronuniciation)
Absoulte (finger trouble again, we though. Those phones now have such small keys)
ABSA LUTE (A new Dance artist?)
Absoloute (well, it could be, if we’d gone for a made up word, but we didn’t)
Absolote (London accent?)
Absulout (sounds almost Continental)
Absoloute (would be better with an accent or two, maybe?)
APPSURLUTE (Another one we liked – BUT NO NEED TO SHOUT)
ASOLBUTE (I wear a pair of those on my feet in Winter)
ABSOLULE (My dad used to play one with George Formby)
Aabsolute (A new plumbers in the yellow pages?)
Absolut (Amazing, actually, how few people are confusing us with alcohol, actually. Not least owing to the Golden Square culture.)
Abselute…. (The ellipsis is attractive, yes?)
Absalout (A new government sanction?)
Absoulute (Italian?)
Abssolute (Too much to drink last night?)
But no. Of course it is Absolute. And don’t forget the full stop. Here’s another.
David
