Hello, and welcome to the totally not ripped off ‘Blogication’ to this latest dive into the worrying depths of the mind of Jack McMorrow.

I’d like to blogicate this piece to everyone at Absolute Radio. This is partially because I can’t help being a horrible little suck up, but it’s also because I would like to thank each and every one of you guys for one of the best 3 weeks I’ve had in the past two decades. While it is true I never received a penny for my work, I think that getting to meet bands such as The Fray in the Zoo, guest on an episode of the Home time Show and get a free Operation board game from Geoff makes up for it.

Firstly, I’ve been listening to Absolute since the days of yore (2003), when I was a sweet and innocent 15 year old, and a young Pete Mitchell and Geoff Lloyd presented the Breakfast Show.

At the time, I was adrift in a sea of local radio stations, but one day I made the bold decision to shake off these arcane relics of the past and listen to the only station that truly played all the best contemporary music whilst giving classic tracks their dues.

The fact the new radio I got that year wouldn’t pick up anything else helped too.

From then on, tuning in to hear One Golden Square’s output made waking up for School/College at Stupid A.M. a least 74% easier.

Fast foreword to 2008, my uni class were given the assignment of getting some actual work experience under our collective belts. I got dozens of outright rejections from various media companies, some never even replied. While I was at home from uni, recuperating from sleeping from the majority of the first semester, I decided to hop on a bus and drop off a CV on the off chance.

I heard nothing back, so I assumed that like everywhere else, my CV had been filed away in the bin. So you can imagine my surprise when I woke up one morning to find a voicemail from Eloise Carr (which my phone insisted was from my old housemate, David), asking me if I’d like to come in to do a few weeks work experience.

My first day, I was a nervous wreck. This was evident in many ways, I could barely talk to people, I was second guessing even the simplest action, but most of all I managed to slash my finger open while opening a box of Radios. Twice.

And bleed all over reception. Fun times.

But, never one to pay proper attention to basic safety tips, I soldiered on. I became something of an expert in all matters special delivery related, re – stocking and cleaning the Zoo, making teas for various DJs and top brass and all the while keeping on top of sorting the multiple sacks of post that came each day.

While I had had never really expected (but still hoped) to be given time to sit in on the shows or anything along those lines, I still kept on with it, the general dogsbody of the station. I would occasionally write the Music Minute Quiz (and somehow still manage to be shocked when they were broadcast that evening).

Owing o the fact there is another guy called Jack working at Absolute, whenever I was called over the PA; my full name had to be used to avoid the inevitable confusion. As Ben Jones once said of me, ‘he’s the most famous person in the building’.

When I got name checked in the Absolute Christmas song, I did feel that it was partially that they needed a name which rhymed with ‘tomorrow’, but also because people were beginning to notice me around the office.

This all culminated on my penultimate day when I was invited to stay behind after my normal 5:30 home time to make an appearance on Geoff’s Home Time. I had once done something like this back in 2005 when I got to stay in the Zoo for the final Pete and Geoff Show (and became their final phone – in caller); however the stay was only fleeting.

This time I was able to sit in for the recording of the entire 2nd half of the show, and although I didn’t really make any contribution beyond providing a bit of background laughter, I loved the time nonetheless, and if anything, at least CV – wise, the experience was an invaluable one.

Not least because Geoff gave me a Blu Ray disc which could fetch a pretty penny if I can find someone to flog it on to.

Well, that’s nearly all for me now, I’d like to thank/suck up to everyone at Absolute once again, but particularly Eloise, Gareth, Annie, Martin, Nelson, Geoff, Annabelle, Christian, Brian and anyone else from the last 3 weeks I’ve forgotten to mention.

Now, even though at the time of writing, I need to be back for my last day in about 7 hours, as I’ve left them to the last minute again, I’ll be up late once again to write out Christmas cards and other similar fun activities, I would like to close with a (paraphrased) quote from John Lennon;

‘I’d like to thank you on behalf of myself, and I hope I’ve passed the audition’