It’s time for another digital digest.  Just like the year 2000’s neo-grunge alt-rockers ‘Staind’, it’s been a while – but I can still remember just the way you taste.  I have absolutely no idea what this means or how it indeed works as a metaphor, but it feels fitting nonetheless.  What I’m trying to get at is it’s been too long.  How are you?  How’s tricks?  Still doing your thing?  How’s the rash?  Good?  Good.  Anyway, it’s been a busy couple of weeks in the world of online, Apple did some stuff, a few mobile companies had a jolly in Barcelona and that, Facebook broke for a bit in Europe…

And Joseph Kony became the most famous person on the planet.  Thanks to a 30 minute long, incredibly slickly put together (honestly, I’m pretty sure it was done by the editor of ‘Crank’), highly emotive documentary film/call to arms/music video, the group ‘Invisible Children’ have increased the profile of the Ugandan rebel leader on a global scale.  Kony, currently top of the ICC most wanted list has committed various atrocities across Uganda, most prominently the kidnap and recruitment of young children into his child armies which, if the report in Invisible Children’s documentary is to be believed, is 30,000 strong.  So, via the power of social networking, Invisible Children have taken it upon themselves to make Kony the most famous person on the planet.  Why?  Because the heightened awareness of the man himself among the public conscious ensures that the United State Army will keep its troops stationed in the region in order to mobilise Ugandan troops to bring the man to justice.  (Breathe).  All very admirable, and almost 80,000,000 YouTube views and almost 17 million Vimeo clicks in a only a matter of days suggest that this is a viral campaign that has been incredibly successful.  Of course, there are two sides to every story, and Invisible Children’s methods have already been called into question: suggestions that only 32% of money raised by the charity in 2011 went to charitable means are rife.  And this image is unfortunate to say the least, as nothing says charitable social activist like toting an RPG while gurning like a chump who’s spent the last straight 48 hours playing Call of Duty.  In fact, for a completely different take on the whole campaign, take a look at Charlie Brooker’s response to the video from this weeks 10 O’ Clock Live.  I think I love him a little bit.  Not like that.

Questionable methods aside, what an example of bringing people together by the power of social media  in order to ring in change and make the world a better place.  Slightly different to using twitter to organise arson attacks on corner shops and Vauxhall Corsas in Tottenham anyway.

I’d have done things a little differently though.  This is a bit too much effort to make a man famous for my liking, so, just for Invisible Children, here’s how I would have made Joseph Kony the most famous man on the planet in 2012:

1)      Put him on Britain’s got Talent with a singing dog.  Either that or signed him up as the third member of Stavros Flatley.

2)      Make him attend the next MTV Music Video Awards in a dress made of entirely pork chops.

3)      Have him milk a pig live on Channel 5.

In other news, the new iPad is out now.  It’s new features include a Retina display, 5-megapixel camera and the ability to make use of ultra fast 4G networks.  Which don’t exist yet.  I’m not bitter at all.  So I only got myself an iPad 2 two and a half months ago.  And what?  Look at my face.  Do I care.  Yes.  Yes I do.  Thanks mum and dad, your Christmas present to me has been made obsolete only 10 weeks later than I received it.  What were you thinking?  Yeah, you must really love me.

I disown you.

That’s it for another week.  I leave you with a star in the making, the greatest advert of all time, and one of our bright, young, London 2012 hopefuls.

Go team GB!